I guess it has been a while since I’ve blogged anything really personal. Probably because, when I used to blog frequently, I was always depressed. I can’t believe how much of that has changed now. It’s like my entire sense of self has done a complete turnaround for the better and I absolutely love every minute of it.
I’ve gotten closer to a lot of people and it really makes me realize who matters the most and who is worth toughing through the hard times.
I went out a few weekends ago. With a boy I had once been involved with and, to be completely honest, I am fucking PROUD of myself for the way I behaved. Had it been a few months ago, I would’ve been a total drunk floosey, not giving a fuck about consequences. But now, shit like that doesn’t even cross my mind, no matter how much I have to drink. So yeah, that’s saying A LOT. Yeah, okay, the night did mostly consist of me babysitting a bunch of drunk boys, but you know what? I am proud to say that I know how to trust myself. I have never been able to do that! This is new to me and it feels fucking good!
There are frequent times where I just stop and think about my life now and I can’t help but want to burst into tears of absolute joy. I have never been this happy and so content with myself in my entire life. I’m at a point where I am legitimately HAPPY. Every day, I am thankful for the people around me who have stuck by me to help me get where I am, one of these people being the most amazing best friend any girl could ask for. (That’s right, homeboy!)
Seriously, I don’t think I have ever had a best friend quite like him. We are literally two peas in a pod. (No, seriously guys, I grew him in my grandma’s garden. =P) He plays a big part in who I am today and, if it weren’t for him teaching me how to grow the fuck up when my world came crashing, I could be the most miserable person right now. I really don’t know what I’d do without that boy. Keeth, I love you bitch!
And of course, there is that other boy.
The one that will forever be on the other end of my red string. If I believed in soul mates, hands down, he’s the one. Another person who, again, I don’t know where the fuck I’d be without him. He makes me happy in ways I never thought possible. Everyday I can’t help but think about him and us and how far we have come in our relationship. We have been through so much in so little time, and yet, I still cannot wait to see what the future hold for us. Whatever it is, I know we are in it together forever. He is the only one I want for the rest of my life. I am infinity percent sure of it. He is my whole life and everyday I am thankful for the chance he gave me to change,
I know he’ll read this ‘cause I’ll tell him to. So, I love you to the ends of the universe and back, Dale. You are forever branded all over my heart. It is yours, as am all that I am. Forever and after, I am never letting go of you.
Life has changed for the better.